I'm attracted to nearly everything about him but his size. They will say to each other, "It's his fault, and it's disgusting; he must have no willpower; he must eat the wrong things; he must be repressing something; he must not respect himself." And what does the fat guy say? It might be great at first with some guy you don't like that much otherwise. A guy you don't like all that much anyway whom you don't like to fuck much either anymore.
So he doesn't light my fire, and doesn't feed my ego in the company of strangers. If you are a fat man in America you cannot help noticing that people are freaked out about fat. He says, Yes, thank you for that astute observation, I have indeed noticed that I am fat. Insight is a complex computation; it can take days on our little computers.
I didn’t know it was possible to differentiate those two, since I’d always experienced comments about any weight gain as a negative.
We live in such a looks-focused world that those became intertwined in my head, and that’s a dangerous outlook because it leads to me wanting to stay in bed all day when I feel “ugly” or “heavy.” He’s able to navigate that fine line of helping without butting in because he knows my body issues are more complicated than his.
This is harder, of course, because we are freaked out about fat. Meditate on the fact that you like him very much but he doesn't turn you on. If you come to the feeling that you want to stay with him for a while more, then stay with him for a while more.
I can get so hung up on a clothing size that I’ll buy a less flattering but lower number to make myself feel better.
I’ve even shied away from attending events when I felt I was simply “too fat” to fit into any of my clothes.
Contrary to what you might expect, he doesn’t reward himself or commiserate with food, and doesn’t want me to either.
He’s helped me nip my wallowing in the bud, offering positive suggestions like walking, yoga, and meditation.